EVA7- Rebirth
This one feels like someone took a horny shitpost from an old anime forum, taped it together with duct tape, and somehow it turned into a strip blackjack thing that actually hits some oddly nice sensory notes. You start with Asuka and Shinji already in that classic “I hate you, but I need you, but I hate you” loop, and Rei just snaps and throws cards on the table like: alright, clothes are health points now. The art is rough in that early internet way, lines not super clean, colors a bit off, but it gives this nice “late-night browser on a shitty laptop” vibe. If you watched Evangelion on fansubs with weird yellow subtitles, you know exactly the feeling. The sound is where my ASMR brain perked up a little. Card flips have this soft click, not super realistic, more like someone tapping a thin plastic card against a desk. The voice lines are really the spice here: Asuka’s sharp, high energy bite in her voice, the little scoffs when she loses, Shinji sounding awkward and horny and guilty all at once. You can almost hear the cheap mic, that tiny bit of grain, which weirdly adds intimacy, like you’re catching something you shouldn’t on a late Discord call. Not clean studio, more “I recorded this in my bedroom and hoped the neighbors don’t hear”, and I mean that as a compliment.
Sexual tension is mostly in the pauses. That tiny delay after a bad hit, when the next piece of clothing has to go, and there’s that one frame of “ah fuck” before it actually leaves the body. The striptease is not like big fancy animation, more like slow, slightly clumsy peeling off, but it fits these characters. Asuka pulling clothes like she’s annoyed she even has to be sexy for you, but she is. Camera lingers on the obvious places, yeah, but sometimes the nicest part is a quick zoom on her hands or on Shinji’s shoulders tensing when he realizes he just lost his shirt to a bad draw. There’s a lot of dumb humor too, little blooper-style bits that pop up and ruin the mood in a good way. You get this mix of horny and “lol what am I even playing” that feels very old Newgrounds energy. Sometimes the audio mix goes weird, a line is a bit too loud in one ear, and you notice it, and then something lewd happens and your brain just oozes past it. I kept thinking how nice it would be if there was a kind of “ASMR mode” DLC: same game, but with overdone whispers, fabric rustling, card shuffles right in your ears, maybe Rei doing cold, soft commentary like “hit… or strip” in this deadpan tone that crawls down your neck. Touch sounds too, like finger on glass, or the soft drag of a bra strap snapping back on the skin. No need to change the gameplay at all, just drown it in dirty ear porn.
What really got my attention is how much this feels like a weird conversation between three broken people who accidentally turned their trauma into a drinking game, except the drink is their underwear. They keep bickering, throwing shade, and you’re there controlling who ends up more humiliated, which somehow hits that mix of comedy and cruelty Evangelion always had. The blackjack itself actually can screw you over pretty fast, so tension climbs not only because you want to see skin, but because a bad 21 means they suddenly cover up again and you’re punished by fabric. That instant win “two card 21 gives you a cloth back” mechanic is evil. One second Asuka is down to almost nothing, the next she pulls a perfect hand and snaps her clothes back on like “nice try, perv”, and you feel this tiny stab of frustration in your chest. Those micro highs and lows, that’s where the sensory fun really lives. Also, tiny complaint: some transitions feel a bit abrupt, like a line cuts off a frame too quick, and my brain wants just one more fraction of a second to sit with the embarrassment. Maybe I am just too picky, I listen to too much audio porn on Spotify and hentai moan compilations on Twitter. Still, if they ever patch in extra voices with heavier breathing, little stuttered laughs, and maybe some card-table ambient loop, I’m not complaining. Or I am. I forgot what I was saying. Anyway, it’s trashy in a comfy way, naked anime kids arguing in space while you quietly ruin their dignity with bad card choices, and the whole thing sounds and feels like someone’s lost horny Flash project that accidentally woke up again in your browser.
Added: Mar 17, 2019 💬 7 🎮 1k
Latest comment by Ali Abdul:
"I'm so fucking scared"