Breeding Season Alpha 4.6
This thing looks at you like a cute little farm sim and then five minutes later you’re in the middle of a field trying to figure out which slime-dog-dragon hybrid is the one that keeps humping the fence and breaking your breeding plan. It starts simple: you get a patch of land, a few horny critters and a basic idea that “okay, I’ll just make some money, sell milk or eggs or whatever.” Then you notice the stats. Libido here, fertility there, that weird mood bar that shoots up when you put two very wrong-looking monsters in the same pen, and suddenly you’re not farming carrots, you’re min-maxing orgasms.
The whole loop is basically: grow freaky animals, make them fuck, get better freaky animals. Some look kind of cute, some look like they crawled out of a very drunk DeviantArt night, but they all have one job. You drag two of them together, hit breed, and then you sit there watching the animation thinking, “okay this is way more intense than I expected from something that also has turnips in it.” The sex is not shy at all. They thrust, they moan, they drool, there are knots and tentacles and way too much sticky stuff for a “cozy farm” vibe. I had one bull-looking beast pin a fluffy fox thing to the ground and it went on long enough that I checked my phone twice, came back, and they were still at it, like a living porn loop that also gives you a new baby asset for your spreadsheet brain. Chat on my stream was just spamming “this is educational” and “Twitch would explode,” which is fair.
What got me hooked is how dirty and nerdy it is at the same time. You’re doing spreadsheets in your head, but the numbers are all about cum, pregnancy chance, and how to chain-breed the perfect money-making stud that can fuck for half a day without resting. I spent way too long trying to get a chunky cow-girl style beast with high production and stupidly high sex drive, just to see how fast she’d fill up the barn. And it works, but the UI throws popups in your face at the worst times. I’d be lining up this glorious breeding combo, hand on the mouse, blood pressure going up, then some tiny “storage is full” warning would cover the part of the screen where the monster dick is supposed to go in. Completely ruined the moment and I still haven’t found a way to move that box. Also, the humor is all over the place. Sometimes it’s actually funny, like a tooltip calling one monster a “walking cum tank,” and sometimes it feels like a teenager wrote it while giggling into Discord. But then you pull a rare critter from some weird egg, throw it in with a giant wolf-ish brute, watch them slam into each other in the mud while the farm music just keeps playing like nothing is happening, and your brain just goes, “yeah, this is exactly the trash I wanted today.”
Added: Apr 12, 2018 💬 0 🎮 1k