Con-Quest [v 0.09]
This thing is like walking into a nerd convention that forgot what “family friendly” means and just rolled with it. You’re this trainer-type dork running around a con full of cosplayers who clearly did not read any dress code. Everyone is wearing “almost” the character outfit, then something goes wrong, and that “almost” keeps slipping. It’s half goofy parody, half “oh shit I didn’t expect it to go that far” and that mix actually works better than it should. One second you’re laughing at some dumb joke about tall grass, next second you’re in a very not-safe-for-Twitter battle where a girl dressed as an electric fox is getting her clothes shredded piece by piece while you’re pretending to care about stats. It feels like someone mashed a trashy con story, an rpg, and a porn comic into one browser tab and said “good enough”. The girls are all dressed like familiar monsters or trainers but twisted into that “you know exactly what we’re referencing but nobody wants to get sued” zone. You bump into them in different parts of the convention, “battle” them, collect their stuff, and slowly unlock more skin, more tears in their outfits, more shameless reward art. The game really likes to make you work a little for each nude, which is annoying and hot at the same time, like edging with extra menus.
What sticks out for me is how the humor never stops even when things get filthy. There’s dumb puns about moves, meta jokes about being in a con, NPCs talking like they live on Reddit, then out of nowhere the game hits you with a fully horny scene where the girl is in a ruined costume, flushed face, boobs hanging out of what used to be armor or maid outfit, and you’re just sitting there going “ok I didn’t open this tab for subtlety anyway”. The cafe is a mess in a good way, by the way. You walk in and suddenly it’s nothing but skimpy outfits and girls who look like they lost a bet. There’s this fox cosplay in there that starts all cute, then mid combat her outfit just keeps ripping and you’re trying to pretend you care about elemental stuff while her tits are practically free and the game is like “yes yes, tactics, sure”. The whole sticker thing is weirdly addictive too. You beat a girl, you get her “sticker” version, then you realize there are different sets with more clothes missing, new poses, sometimes even a smug expression that makes you want to click again. It’s like a horny album for degenerates who grew up with monster collecting games. Sometimes the grind kills the mood a bit, some scenes take too long to unlock, and the UI still feels like it was taped together in a rush, but then you open that compendium and see a full gallery of every ruined costume you unlocked and suddenly you forget you wanted to complain about anything. The convention map slowly filling up with new spots, secret girls hiding behind some shiny grass interaction, dates that suddenly flip from flirty jokes to full-on “this is my lewd reward scene now”, it all just blends into this chaotic, stupid, really fun sex parody of a fandom everybody already knows too well. You open it thinking “I’ll just check it quick” and then you’re still clicking tall grass to make another half-naked cosplayer appear.
Added: May 20, 2018 💬 5 🎮 1k
Latest comment by vif:
"good"