Con Quest – Fuck Pokemon Cosplayer
Con Quest feels like someone mashed together a horny fever dream at an anime convention after too much Red Bull, then kinda forgot to polish it and just said “yeah fuck it, that’s good enough.” You’re not doing that usual Pokémon thing, no grinding grass patches, no Pokédex bullshit. It’s basically: walk around a crowded con full of cosplay girls, hit on them, trick them, piss them off, charm them, whatever, just to get them naked and moaning in badly lit hotel rooms or random corners. The whole vibe is weirdly chill though. I had lo-fi beats playing from Spotify on my second monitor while clicking through dialog, and it lowkey fits: you’re wandering between booths, the bad jokes flying everywhere, neon wigs, cheap plastic props, and under all that, yeah, straight up porn. When you first spot the Pikachu girl and the game lets you decide if you’re gonna be smooth or a complete asshole, it’s funny for like ten seconds and then you realize, ok, this thing really wants you to be a degenerate. She’s in that tiny yellow outfit, tail bouncing, cheeks painted red, and the game keeps giving you lines that feel like they were written by a horny Discord server. Half of them made me laugh, half made me go “wow, that’s fucked up” while still clicking them, so whatever, it works.
There’s this one moment that kinda sold the whole thing for me: you’re stuck trying to get past a staff-only area and the solution is not some epic puzzle, it’s literally bribing a dude with some stupid con merch you got from a failed attempt at seducing another girl. So your trash attempt at flirting actually unlocks a different route later. Stuff like that makes the whole map feel more like an actual messy weekend than a straight line porn game. The humor hits and misses a lot, sometimes it tries too hard to be edgy, like “haha abuse cosplay girls” level, and it goes from playful to pretty rough real fast. One scene with a girl in a fox outfit had me switching from turned on to kinda uncomfortable and then right back again when she starts dirty-talking like she’s been waiting for someone to use her costume as an excuse anyway. The art is inconsistent, boobs are great in one shot and then a bit off in the next, but you kinda stop caring the moment clothes come off and the camera gets close. Sex scenes go from light teasing to full-on “grab her by the hair and make her scream in a hotel bathroom” territory, with enough variety that you’re not just clicking through the same pose over and over. I still hate that one tiny thing though: every time I misclick on some random NPC, I get this pointless line that adds nothing, and it happened like five times in a row near the snack bar and made me irrationally angry. Still, when you finally corner that “legendary” cosplayer everyone in the con keeps talking about, and the game lets you wreck her carefully crafted costume piece by piece while she pretends to protest and then begs for more, you kinda forget all the small shit and just enjoy the chaos.
Added: Jul 20, 2018 💬 7 🎮 1k