Jedi Trainer
This one feels like some horny cantina story somebody wrote after binging all the wrong Star Wars edits on Pornhub and then deciding “yeah, I can fix the prequels, but everybody is naked now”. You’re not some shining Jedi hero, you’re basically a walking problem with a lightsaber, drifting around space, messing with smugglers, shady masters, and girls who really should not be trusting you at all. It plays like a trainer game where the Force is less “mystic religion” and more “tool to slowly corrupt everyone until they beg you to choke them with it again”. You click through scenes, poke at choices, test dialogue like you’re trying pickup lines on Tinder, and every time you think “nah, the game won’t let me be that much of an asshole”, it kind of does. Half the fun is pushing that border and seeing how far the corruption goes before it snaps into some seriously dirty CG set.
The porn is pure CG hentai style, and I mean that in the good and messy way. Big eyes, big tits, impossible curves, robes that remember they’re supposed to cover something only after they’ve already fallen on the floor. One moment you’re discussing spice routes with a smuggler, next moment her top is gone and you’re using the Force for things that are absolutely not in the Jedi Code. There’s this smugglers-only angle with the passwords and cheat words that makes it feel like old-school Flash porn games on Newgrounds, when you had to type some stupid code from a forum post to unlock the good scenes. Here it’s that little “INDIANATK” and “Nispack” nonsense, and suddenly your credits jump or some girl stops pretending she has standards. I kinda love that trashy vibe. It feels illegal even when it’s not. Like when you used to Google weird stuff on the school PC and pray the IT guy never checks the history.
The plot? Honestly, it pretends to care about galactic stuff, Jedi, training, smuggling, passwords, but the real heartbeat is how fast you can twist characters from “I’m loyal to the Order” to “fuck it, use me”. Some scenes get really nasty in a fun way, like Force-assisted teasing, rough training sessions that definitely don’t happen in any official temple, and these slow corruption arcs where a girl starts all proud and ends up drooling and calling you “master” in a tone that would give Yoda a heart attack. The writing swings a bit, sometimes hot as hell, sometimes clunky like Google Translate fanfic, and occasionally a line lands so awkward it pulled me out for a second. But then the next CG drops and I forgot I even knew how to read. I kinda wish there was more sound, more moans, maybe a bit of dirty voice clip here and there, but I already know it’s never coming and I’m still here, clicking, like an idiot who pretends he cares about the smuggler’s backstory. It’s messy, horny, a bit stupid, strangely charming, and absolutely not safe for Jedi Council meetings.
Added: Jun 28, 2024 💬 2 🎮 1k
Latest comment by vk:
"Ok"