Con-Quest! Poké-con (Version 0.11)
Con-Quest feels like someone grabbed all the horny parts of going to a con, mashed them together with a goofy RPG, and then just refused to apologize for anything. You start walking around thinking “ok, this is just some silly parody thing” and then five minutes later you’re chasing down pills for a quest while staring at a cosplayer’s tits and trying to pretend you’re focusing on the map. It has that energy of being stuck in a long panel line, bored out of your skull, then suddenly spotting a lewd Misty cosplayer with her bra barely doing its job and your brain just short circuits. The whole game is like living inside that moment. You’re not playing some big dark fantasy epic here. You are basically a horny con-goer with a magic phone, collecting sexy cosplayers like Pokémon but with way more ass and way less shame. And yeah, sometimes it actually made me laugh out loud, which is annoying when I’m trying to multitask and have Pornhub minimized in the other tab.
The best part for me is the way the girls flip from cute geeky cosplay to full hentai reward mode after you finish their little nonsense quests. Like the “Candy Gram” stuff with Felicia. I was fully expecting some boring fetch quest, then suddenly the receptionist is acting like the world’s most confused quest tracker, I’m running all over the place grabbing ingredients, and when it finally clicks it rewards you with a CG that feels like you unlocked her secret lewd Patreon tier. Same thing when you finally get Joyce as a summon and then realize her quest continues and just gets dirtier. There is this nice rhythm of “ok, grind some battles, do dumb errands, boom here’s a new CG of a cosplayer bent over in a pose no real human spine should accept.” The game even has this CG viewer that basically teases you. Locked art just sitting there, with a tiny hint, like “hey perv, you missed this one, go back and actually talk to people instead of mashing attack.” I got weirdly stubborn about filling that gallery. Not sure if that says more about the game or about me.
What I kinda love and hate is how the RPG stuff is actually not trash. Like the Misty boss fight. I went in like “ok, horny meme fight, press buttons, stare at boobs” and then realized I actually had to pay attention to counter her special attack or she’d smack my party around. When the counter finally worked right and she took the damage she was supposed to, I got that old-school RPG satisfaction mixed with “nice, now show me the naughty scene.” There is also this whole thing with summons, like Joyce and Michelle, where each girl you unlock feels like you added a new NSFW sticker pack to your dick. The new summons and quests are basically excuses to drop more CG, but I’m not complaining. Well, actually I am. The topless toggle for higher tier patrons is kinda evil. I turned it on and suddenly half the girls are running around with their tits out, which is hot, but it also kills that small thrill of seeing them slowly undress in the rewards. I kept thinking “I wish I could have both versions at once” and then just got distracted again by some new sticker set and forgot what I was annoyed about. It is messy, horny, geeky as hell, and at some point I realized I was actually tracking my progress with the receptionist like a real quest log while jerking off to finished CGs in the special menu. Honestly feels less like a normal porn game and more like being trapped inside the lewd side of Artist Alley where every cosplayer secretly wants to pin you to a hotel bed and turn into a collectible.
Added: Mar 13, 2019 💬 1 🎮 1k
Latest comment by twojastara:
"co za gówno zboczeńcu pierdolony"