Cortas Platformer
Your poor little space heroine barely crawls out of the burning wreck, tits bouncing in that dumb tight suit that clearly wasn’t made for “survival”, more like “please molest me, mister alien”. Whole planet looks like somebody mixed a retro arcade cabinet with a porn artist’s wet dream: weird platforms hanging over bottomless pits, glowing eggs pulsing in the background, and every shadow looks like some horny tentacle thing waiting for her to slip. You move her with the usual keys, she stumbles, jumps, climbs, and you already know, the moment you mistime a jump, the game is just waiting to grab her, bend her, spread her and turn the whole level into a slime-covered gangbang. It’s funny, because at first you try to play “serious”, like an actual platformer, avoiding traps and timing jumps, but ten minutes later you are half-intentionally missing that ledge because you kind of want to see what that purple plant does when it pulls her in. Spoiler: it is not gentle. Also there is one little green fucker that always outruns me and I hate him more than my Monday alarm.
The whole “fight back or get fucked” loop is basically the soul here. You press attack, she swings, and there is this tiny delay that makes everything feel just janky enough to be hot. When you manage to smack a tentacle monster right before it wraps around her waist, you feel like a hero. When you miss, suddenly she is on her back, legs shaking, suit half ripped, and the game zooms its dirty attention straight to the action. Some enemies grab from the front, some from behind, some from above, and then there are those slimy pits where she slowly sinks and you’re mashing keys like a maniac, saying “ok ok ok let me go” while also not really trying that hard. The customization thing is basically you deciding what kind of victim she is going to be: different suits, hair, maybe less armor than is morally acceptable on a hostile planet, just so when they catch her you get your favorite flavor of humiliation. It’s cruel, in a stupid horny way. This is the kind of game where you’re telling yourself “I will go no-hit this run” while already imagining what it will look like when three alien bugs pin her to a wall and use every open hole. My only real complaint is the tiny knockback when you land on some platforms, it keeps pushing me into things, and I swear it’s not my fault, but I still keep walking back into the same tentacle bush like some kind of pervert NPC with a broken script. Anyway, if you want to squeeze maximum juice out of it, don’t rush. Let yourself screw up jumps, wander around, poke every suspicious egg and corner. Pretend you’re trying to escape, but maybe not too hard, and let the planet decide how many times it needs to “welcome” you before you reach the exit.
Added: May 01, 2018 💬 0 🎮 1k