December calendar slot for this one was “Fantasy Dragon Fuckfest Quest” in my notes, which already tells you the mood. It plays like somebody mashed a monster catching game with cheap porn and then just stopped halfway through and said “ok, that’s enough story, now show tits.” You run around this little fantasy map, bump into weird sexy creatures, and every “battle” slowly turns into “how far can I push this horny dragon girl until she squirts everywhere.” It sounds stupid. It is stupid. I kinda liked it anyway and also rolled my eyes half the time.
The whole thing is broken into episodes, so it feels like watching a trashy seasonal anime where each new installment gives you a new fetish flavor. This one is the dragon run, so almost every Pussymon you meet is some flavor of scaly, horny, and badly behaved. I met this smug dragon girl early, she looked like she was about to roast me alive, and two minutes later the “battle” ended with her on her knees slobbering on my cock like it’s treasure. You throw “candy” at them to level them up, which is basically saying “here’s sugar, now spread your legs wider.” When one of them evolved after I fed her a bunch, her new form showed up and the first thing the game did was slam a sexcard in my face: same girl, but more curves, less clothing, and you ramming her pussy from behind while she claws the floor. My Google Drive autosync popped a notification right then and I almost choked on my drink.
The sexcards are the real meat. Winning a fight turns into unlocking a full-screen loop of you using them: tits bouncing, cum dripping, tongue out, that kind of cheap but honest porn energy. One dragon-type chick gets pinned against a rock, legs pushed up so far her ass is half in the air, and you just pump her full until there’s white streaks down her thighs. Another one has this “proud noble warrior” vibe, and the sexcard is literally you fucking her on top of the treasure pile while she’s blushing and begging you not to stop. I swear she was talking big shit in the fight, then suddenly she’s moaning about “deeper, deeper” like you’ve flipped a switch. It’s horny nonsense, but at least it commits.
In between the porn, there’s this wandering around and talking to fantasy weirdos thing. You bump into some furry styled characters here and there, mixed with more typical hentai girls and monsters. Sometimes they tease you with a line like “if you win, I’ll give you something special” and you already know that means you’ll end up balls-deep in some fox-eared slut while she’s drooling and clinging to you. The battle system is trying to be “original,” and I guess it sort of is, but half the time I was just clicking through skills on muscle memory while listening to Spotify on my phone and checking Telegram. I noticed damage numbers, some status effect or something, and then suddenly victory screen and, boom, another shot of my character stuffing a dripping pussy with his cock. There was this one bug where the same moan played twice and overlapped so it sounded like a demon orgasm, and it kinda fit the vibe, so I didn’t even hate it.
The holiday streamer side of my brain keeps thinking: “ok, this would be perfect for something like Dragon Day in some made-up advent calendar” then immediately “no, actually, this is more like Horny New Game+ Pokémon parody day.” I keep changing my mind. Sometimes the parody angle hits nice, like when the evolution makes the Pussymon look way too strong for such a goofy sex game, then the next scene they’re sucking you off in a cave for one more candy like total cum-addicted idiots. Sometimes it just feels like a rough draft somebody pushed online too early. Dialog slips from weird cute-English to “I fuck you now” in two lines, and I couldn’t stop noticing that one NPC kept using the same line again and again. There’s a quest where you’re supposed to explore to find something important, but the only thing I remember is the dragon girl at the end riding your cock and bouncing like she’s trying to break your spine, cum pouring out of her when she climaxes.
One thing I did enjoy more than I should: capturing a new dragon, testing her in one or two fights, then immediately going “ok show me what you can do with that throat.” Some of them get full-on BJ scenes where you see her head bobbing in a really exaggerated rhythm, and cum spills from the corners of her mouth when you finish. Others skip straight to pussy. There was this fluffy-tailed thing, kind of more on the furry side, who bends over and lifts her tail so high it’s basically an open invitation. My character just slams into her while she drools and claws at the ground, and the animation lingers on the way her hole stretches around you. Is it classy? No. Is it subtle? Fuck no. Did I click “replay” more than once? Absolutely, even while I was cursing that stupid little “level up with candy” popup that stuck for half a second too long on screen.
The exploring part sits in this funny place where it makes the game feel bigger, even if you’re kinda just moving from sexcard to sexcard. You wander, you bump into a new Pussymon, you try some attacks, then eventually you’re pressing her face into the dirt and pounding her like she’s just another monster drop. There’s a weird comfort in how trashy it is. No big romantic arc, just “fight the horny dragon, catch the horny dragon, fuck the horny dragon.” Somewhere around the fourth or fifth one I realized I had no idea what the main quest even was anymore. I just wanted to see what the next scaly slut would do with my dick and how much cum the artist felt like drawing that day. The parody angle of it all makes it feel less serious too, like the dev is laughing with you while also putting one more pussy close-up on screen and saying, “yeah, you’re still here, aren’t you.”
Added: Dec 21, 2018
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