Samus the Tentacle Trap
This thing is basically a very horny Metroid joke that forgot to be subtle. You get dropped into a space station that kind of looks like someone squished Super Metroid and a cheap porn banner together, and then they just went “ok, where can we wrap tentacles around Samus first.” Plot is like one line: she gets some “come back to HQ right now” call, walks in, surprise, everybody wants her naked. It feels like a bad fanfic that somehow turned into a game, but in a funny way, not in the “I regret my life” way. I mean, I still regret a bit, but that’s on me.
Samus here is the classic blonde armor girl, but the whole thing is built so every hit, every grab, every “oops I missed that jump” is just an excuse to peel her like an onion. You run, shoot, wall jump, whatever, very Metroid-ish, except the punishment is not “you lose health,” it’s “you lose clothes, and by the way there’s a slimy thing rubbing against her thighs while you try to mash out of a grab.” The undress stuff is super direct: first you see the armor crack, then bits fall away, then suddenly there’s skin, then nipples, then things sliding where they probably don’t belong. No fade to black. No “are you 18” vibe. Just “yeah, the tentacle is inside now, keep playing.” Sometimes I forgot I was trying to escape a room, because the struggle animation is long and honestly a bit too detailed, like the dev paused sprite work and said, “no no, the tongue needs more drool.”
What surprised me, weirdly, was the sound. Not “good music,” it’s kind of this looping space-y beat that feels like someone’s YouTube synthwave playlist got compressed too much, but the moans and gasps hit harder than I expected. I was wearing headphones and at one point I tabbed back to Telegram and still heard her panting and had that panic “is this going through speakers?” moment. There’s a squishy noise some enemies do when they wrap around her waist that honestly made me cringe more than the actual penetration. It sounds like opening a jar of pickles, just wetter. Small thing that annoyed me: the jump sound effect is too sharp and a bit high pitched, and once you notice it you can’t un-hear it. Every time I tried a tricky platform section, it was just “pip, pip, pip” like some broken bird, while in the background some monster is literally using her as a sex toy.
There’s this one hallway where you think, “ok, just a couple of weak mobs, I’ll blast through.” Then a tentacle pops out of the floor, grabs her ankle and pulls her into a corner, and before you can react armor plates are getting yanked away like someone peeling tinfoil. I actually laughed because it felt like the game was trolling me personally. Controls are fine, slightly floaty, but for a parody like this it kind of fits. It’s not trying to be precise speedrun material, it’s trying to drag her into a slime pile every time you get too cocky. And yeah, sometimes it gets repetitive, since a lot of scenes are “same enemy, same position, maybe one extra drip,” but then they hit you with a new angle that feels almost too intimate for a cartoon character and you’re like, ok, wow, somebody spent a long night animating that thrust pattern. I opened it just to “check it quickly,” browser still sitting there an hour later while my Spotify mixed random eurobeat over her getting railed by alien vines. Honestly, it’s trash. I kind of loved it.
Added: Oct 07, 2018 💬 1 🎮 1k
Latest comment by Jes AI:
"Long, boring, RNG based, not juice"